Saturday, January 30, 2010

Worst 15 minutes of my life.

Hair is one of the biggest issues I have about my body. We all have to deal with it, but thanks to my dads genetics (Remind me to tell you the story about my dad confessing his hair issues. Hilarious!) and a hormone imbalance we won't discuss with the world wide web, it's a constant battle for me.

We all have hair in places we don't want. EVERY woman waxes, sugars, plucks, lasers, etc. her mustache and if she tells you she doesn't she's either lying or has a hairy upper lip. It's just a part of life. I get that we all deal with it, but do you get a 5 o'clock shadow...on your legs? I think not. For a long time I was so embarrassed by it until one day I realized I did not do anything to cause it, but I could do something about it.

Let's start off with the facts. The ONLY PROVEN PERMANENT HAIR REMOVAL IS ELECTROLYSIS. Period. Waxing/plucking actually make the hair grow back darker/stronger and laser hair removal is NOT permanent. IT WILL COME BACK. It might take a year+, but it will come back. Trust me, I've spent literally thousands of dollars on hair removal treatment and electrolysis is the only permanent solution. Now that I've made my point...on with my story.

For over a year, I've gone to a weekly electrolysis appointment that I dread. It takes 6-10 treatments per hair follicle to entirely kill the hair root so it is a very slow and painful process.

I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and have even been known to fall asleep at these appointments, but this past week I lost it. We finished a few areas and had moved onto my toes. Yes, I have hair on my toes. So do you, but probably not as thick, dark, and long as mine. It only took 15 minutes, but they were the most painful 15 minutes of my entire life.

Image sticking a needle into your toes and sending a hot electric current though it over and over and over again. It hurt so bad I was sweating like crazy. I literally sweated (is that even a word?) THROUGH MY JEANS. I was swearing, trying to find my happy place, focusing on not kicking the electrologist, and tearing up. Knowing that I get to do that probably 6 more times brings tears to my eyes right now. I mean why did God even put hair on our toes? Long story short, I think I can handle child birth now. The trick is to find someone interested in this hairy monster.

Next time you see me, please don't start checking me for hair. It's there, it's embarrassing, it's nothing I can help and you have it too. But if you need a good electrologist, I know of one in Seattle...