Helga

I have a bad habit of getting a massage at least once a month. This week, I had a GREAT masseuse, but she was a talker. Her name was Patrica, but a I like to call her Helga because she was a big woman with a thick accent.

Helga, "Do you drink water?"
Me, "Does Diet Coke count?"
Helga, "No, you are very dry. Drink more water."

Helga, "You have circulation problems in your feet."
Me, "I know. They are always cold and go numb quite often at random times."
Helga, "You should do exercises that move the blood up your legs."
Me, "Ya, I should exercise."

As she massaged my leg and bum, "Wow, you don't have any cellulite....wait, there is a little in your butt cheek." (Was this a compliment or motivation to go the gym?)

She was super crazy, but gave a great massage. Helga, see you again in two weeks.