Churched out

I'm a Mormon. Born and raised. And while I've had my ups and downs with The Church, I've had too many spiritually amazing experiences to ever deny that it's Christ's true church restored on this earth.

Lately I've been feeling a little spiritually "down." I know this is all due to me and my lack of daily commitment, but I just feel like I'm going through The Church motions. I go to church, I do my best to obey the commandments, I try to be nice to others and I try to be like Jesus, but lately I've been missing those Spiritual boosts that help get me through the week. I miss my old ward. I miss the spiritual high I use to feel from my church calling. I miss the desire to study the scriptures. I know it's all still true, but I'm just feeling church blah. (Oh, stop judging. We all get this way)

I have been praying a lot about this and was looking forward to church today with high hopes. I made it just as we starting singing the opening song and I could not focus on the words or feelings because the tempo was so slow. It was killing me. Seriously. Then all of our Bishopric was out of town so the EQP was conducting and he did a great job, but it just felt weird since he looks about 12. Then came the Sacrament hymn and again it was soooooooo slow it was driving me crazy. I could not focus on a thing. Then as the Elder (who is 31) started to say the Sacrament pray, his voice squeaked like a prepubescent boy and I could not stop giggling (because I too am a 12 year old boy at heart). Needless to say, I was having an off day, was not feeling The Spirit, and was struggling being at church.

People started to share their testimonies and I did my best to focus on their words and my feeling but I could not stop thinking about the craft projects I had waiting for me at home or the dreamboat sitting next to me.

A new kid got up to share his testimony and I could tell there was something about him. He started to tell us this was his first time back at church in a few years. His mom was cleaning out his room and found his scriptures and asked if he wanted them. Something made him drive home to get them. He started reading and he "remembered." He remembered the feeling of the Spirit and of his Savior's love for him. He remembered and wanted more. He told his friends he could not be friends with them anymore, said he was looking for a new job to put him in a better work environment and that he was so happy to feel the Spirit again.

Here this kid was humbly telling a group of strangers how glad he was to "remember" the truthfulness of The Gospel. It was so powerful he was even willing to change major things in his life and start over. It made me stop and "remember" the things I've felt recently. My Heavenly Father has been giving me those Spiritual Boosts all along, I was just not remembering them.

Even with the slow songs, lack of leadership, and personal doubt, my Heavenly Father was able to answer my personal prays at church today through a humble stranger. Amazing!