No Job = Phone Bill

My lovely self appointed gift of unemployment came with a bonus back, having to pay for my own cell phone. I did a lot of Internet research, asked my friends for their opinion, and ended up choosing t-mobile. They have by far the best priced packages and having their headquarters about 6 miles down the road assured me their coverage would be adequate. It went a little something like this:

Opening Scene:
Issaquah T-Mobile store, trendy atmosphere, trying to feel like a "Mac" store
Characters:
Jason - Mid to late 20's, average to moderately good looking, single, just trying to pay the bills
Me - Mid to late 20's, lots of adult acne, very single, going crazy because I have not "talked" to a single person all day

Jason: Can I help you with something today?
Me: Ya, I need a cell phone. I don't need it to send email, play music, or cook me dinner. I just need a phone this can make and take calls with ease. Oh, and I don't want it to have an antenna. I tend to break them off when I chuck it in my purse and I don't want to look silly like my friend Em. (Em, you know I love you but the extended antenna has to go!) One other thing, I like a phone that flips closed. I don't want to accidentally call my mom when I am wooing all the men.
Jason: Wow, ok...it sounds like you have a pretty good idea about what you want and so you know, we don't sell any phones with antennas. Our flip phones are over here.
Me: I actually found the phone I want online, but I needed to come in and hold it to see if my chubby fingers can work the buttons and if it makes my face look fat. (By this point Jason is laughing. Not so much with me, but at me.)
Jason: Have you looked into our phone plans?
Me: Well, I have no idea how many minutes I need because my current phone is through work. I'm really not a phone person. I was thinking your lowest plan that includes unlimited calls to your top 5 friends would work. Question though, what if I don't really have 5 people I call that often? Can I change my top 5? I mean, say I breakup with my future boyfriend or I have a falling out with a friend because girls are crazy. What are my options?
Jason: You can change you top 5 once a month, but you can't have any 800 or 900 numbers in your top 5.  Maybe you should not breakup with your future boyfriend. I am sure he was just having a hard couple of days at work.
Me: You may have a point about the future boyfriend. I'll keep that in mind, but that is too bad I can't have my favorite phone sex number in my top 5.  Now I really am down to 4 friends.  

Thanks T-Mo. (that's what the locals call it) Thanks for dealing with my craziness but more then that, thanks for your phenomenal customer service. My phone had a mail in rebate and they filled out the form, put all of the rebate items in an envelope, and addressed it.