Dear John

Today I was at church reading and minding my own business when a guy walked up and asked if the seat next to me was open. I said yes and went back to reading. A few seconds later he introduced himself as John and shook my hand.

I know beggars can't be choosers, but there was something about John that was giving me a huge red flag/the creeps.

Luckily church started so I could get away with not talking to him. The meeting went on and as we closed, I started to wonder what my exit strategy was going to be. John started asking me more about what I was doing in life, where I was living...the normal small talk thing. I started packing up my things while giving him vague answers.

John could tell I was ready to leave and asked if he could give me his number. A..sure...it got weird. You can't really say no to that, but he was not very smooth...he asked me for paper and a pen. If you really want to use this tactic to pick up on girls, you had better be prepared.

He wrote down his number and said, "call me anytime and don't be shy." I turned to Steph (who P.S. earned the friend award for not leaving me) and we quickly walked away.

Dear John

I am flattered that you liked me enough to give me your phone number, but truth be told, I am never going to call. I don't know you, but something inside of me tells me to stay away. I hope your church pick up trick works for you one of these times. I am impressed with your boldness, but maybe you should be more prepared.

Lindsay

P.S. Now that we are adults, sleeping through church is kind of a turn off.