I Was Jiffy Lubed

(I know that sounds so disgusting, but I could not help myself)

Today over my lunch break I went to the downtown Seattle Jiffy Lube. I pulled in, turned my car over to Robert and went into the stereotypical waiting room. It was dark, very dirty, cold and stunk like cigarette smoke. I sat down and started reading my book (and you make fun of me for my Marry Poppins purse that has everything you could ever need in it).

Fast forward 5 minutes to creepy cell phone guy. It could have been his greasy hair, funny smell, or nervous pace but something about him seriously freaked me out. I did what any of you would do and sat there pretending to read my book while watching his every move. He started by pulling out a phone charger and searching the room for an outlet. He begins talking to someone and kept asking if the line was secure and "yes, red, red is the code word" The Jiffy Lube guy then comes in and he finds out the guy has been here before with this car, but it had different plates. What the crap? He then leaves the following voicemail:

Hi Rick, this is Scott. I just wanted to talk to you and let you know I really need a break and have been thinking a lot and um, I am going to cash out my vacation and give you my two weeks notice. Um, ok, call me when you get this.

I tried to hide my expression, but I could not believe he just quit his job, over the phone, by voicemail.

My car was about done and while Robert was reviewing everything with me, he started telling me how much he loves Black Acuras. He loves driving them into the bay, etc. I laughed and told him he should take it around the block, but asked if black Acuras feel better then any other colored Acura. I was immediately sorry I asked because it got weird. He smiled and said, "The black Acuras always feel better and if they are leather I almost can't contain myself." YIKES!!! At least he gave me a $20 discount on my oil change.

I pulled away slightly stunned at what had just happened and wondered how I keep getting myself into these situations. Sheesh.

I Hate Oprah...there I said it!

I do NOT like Oprah. I think she is full of crap and that too many women idolize her and everything she says. I think this so much I even worked it into my lesson a few Sundays ago. Ladies, Oprah does not live in your reality. She claims to have favorite things, but since when did Oprah actually go to Williams Sonoma, pick out new bowls and go home and actually make something in them....never. She has people that cook, shop, clean, and do everything for her. And Oprah, the "feel bad for me and my people because we were poor slaves" act does not work. You are richer and live a more lavish life then anyone could ever imagine. You don't here me moaning and complaining to people because it was legal to kill my people for religious beliefs. Get over it. Don't even get me started on your book club...

Ok....I could go on and on about why Oprah is bad and people should stop watching her, but I am proud to see others are quickly catching on and turning their attention to positive, funny, and happy people.

A recent poll asked, "Which daytime host makes your day" and here are the results:
46% Ellen DeGeneres
22% Regis Philbin
19% Oprah Winfrey
7% Barbara Walters
5% Martha Stewart

And as David Letterman would say, "I would like to congratulate Oprah for making the cover of O magazine again this month."

Seriously

This past Sunday being Easter, it was a full day of music and as to be expected some of the songs were great and some not so great. What I was not prepared for was the Napoleon Dynamite moment. One girl when to the podium to sing a song about "hands" while the other girl stood in front of the stand and signed through the entire song. Seriously...did no one else see the irony of this situation. The song was nice, but I had to look down because the tears streaming down my face were not from feeling the spirit. Yikes!

Most Memorable Easter

While living in Utah, usually the most lonely times were what I could call "off" holidays meaning holidays where families that lived close by would get together, but not a large enough holiday to do extended travel. Easter was one such holiday. Usually someone would invite me to dinner with their family, but I always felt like an outsider and like I was intruding so I usually turned them down.

I was living in Salt Lake and had just been through an extremal difficult and life altering situation. My dear friends Ben and Lynsey Strader took me in that Easter. I am sure I was not much fun to be around at the time and I don't remember many details about the day, but I had a great holiday. It was one of the rare moments that I knew I was loved and lucky to have such great friends. People talk about being friends when it really counts and I feel luck to know that I will always have that in the Straders. I want to be just like them if I ever grow up.

This year I am happy to say I will be spending Easter with my brothers. Maybe next Easter I can return the favor to someone needing to be part of a family during the holidays.

How to Bathe a Cat

Max seems to be doing better and is back to his attention needing self, but he does not clean himself anymore. I was doing some research online to see what I should do when I ran across the wikiHow: How to Bathe a Cat and I could not stop laughing.


1. Wear appropriate clothing
2. Get at least two people involved
3. Decide whether your cat really needs a bath
4. Trim all nails
5. Put a rubber mat in the tub or use a towel
6. Have shampoo and a small wash cloth ready
7. Comb the fur thoroughly
8. Talk quietly around your cat
9. Choose an appropriate shampoo for the job
10. Soak the cat from the neck down

Number 3 is my favorite because you know there are some crazy people out there that love their cats too much to let them be self sufficient.

For now, I am going to try putting a little honey on Max and hope that does the trick. More to come.

Song of the Day

This is my new favorite song:

I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Who Knew "W" Stood for Wait

For those of you wondering, the next day in New York was full of business meetings so no more options for scandalous rendezvous with the photographer. My office in NY was having this company wide Go Green initative so all of the conference rooms were being uses. We picked up our clients, jumped on the subway and had our meeting in this amazing building that had the best view of the cityscape.

After work we all went to dinner and I have never laughed so hard at a client meal. The food was great and on the way out of the restaurant, we saw Rachel Dratch from Saturday Nigh Live (she plays Debbie Downer). It was already 10:00 and I had to get up at 5:00 to catch my flight, but I wanted to see the Clays in Brooklyn.

Mabel is so cute, gaining weight, and was fun to hold. I left around 12:15, had a few work emails to send out, and was sad I would only be getting about 3 hours of sleep max, but it was all worth it. (This photo is from the last time I saw her, but that was only 2 weeks ago so it still works. I like how Mabel looks pissed that her mom made her wear that hat.)


I made it to the airport and onto the plain with no problems. I started to drift off when the captain came over the loud speaker indicating Air Force One was landing at JFK and they had shut down the airport. It would not have been such a big deal, but we waiting there for over an hour. Come on George, we are all over you so get out of the way.

Another great trip to New York. I can't wait to see what the next one has in store.

Man, I Feel Like A Woman

I find more and more that I love New York. I started the morning off bright and early with a eight block beautiful walk to the hotel my clients were staying at. I was tagging along to a photo shoot for the day.

Waiting for our car outside of the hotel, a car was there waiting to pick up Rob Thomas. Sadly, we left before he came out, but still...a close encounter. The photographer for the shoot was from Seattle and had 2 local assistants. They were the greatest guys and I must say, the photographer and I hit it off. He was not the normal type of guy I like, but for some reason, something was just there. Now, I knew nothing would really come of it and being on a cient photo shoot, it was totally inappropriate so I tried not to play into it too much.

Our first location was on top of Chelsea Pier. We passed through the Law and Order sound stage on the way to the roof, but again sadly we did not see anyone famous.

Next it was off to central park. It was a perfect sunny brisk New York day and the people watching was in prime fashion.

The last location was at the Brooklyn Bridge, but I had to head back for another meeting.

For dinner we went to this amazing restaurant, Nobu. The love connection continued through dinner and we chatted about music, things to do in Seattle, his next photo shoot in LA, and other random things. Dinner was so good, but the downside was it took over 3 hours which means I did not make it to the Clay's house tonight, but hopefully tomorrow night.

We shared a cab back to my client's hotel as I wanted to walk the 8 blocks to my hotel again to take in more of New York and get a little fresh air. I was saying my goodbyes, when he went in for the double hug that included one hand around my neck and the other hand grabbing my ass. Ya, classy, but still it was great to feel like a woman again. He offered to walk me back to my hotel, but knowing that he was trying to get me to drink all night and had a few too much whisky in him, I politely declined, winked and walked away.

Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

Bonding in the Bathroom

This afternoon I was walking towards the bathroom door while one of the few people I have been introduced to at work walked in. She started talking so I waited around figuring she would finish the conversation when she went into the stall, but nope. She kept on talking the entire time she was going to the bathroom. As she was washing her hands I said, "Wow, I think this is the first time I have had the getting to you conversation with someone while they were actually peeing." She laughed and talked me back to my office.

Long Time No Post

What a week. I have been so exhausted I can't even properly explain it and I am still tired so don't expect anything witty and funny, just a weekly recap.

Monday was my first official day of work and I am really excited about my new job. The people seem awesome and I am so impressed with the company. I even have a real office with a door and a great view of the Space Needle. Check it out:

I had tickets for the Eric Hutchinson concert and even though I was exhausted from moving all weekend, I wanted to go... until Max changed my plans. I came home to find Max was in worse shape then I had thought. He had started sneezing a few days previous, but I did not think much of it as he had been on a 15 hour car ride and placed in new surroundings. When I got home from work, his sneezing was so bad, he could not stop sneezing, literally. I took him to the vet and we spent a few hours there and missed the concert. Max had a fever, and upper respiratory infection, and some viral disease. The sneezing has slowed and Thursday he left my bedroom at his own will, but only to sleep on my lap in the living room.

Tuesday was a 12 hour work day and I came home from work to this:

After inspecting the issue, I quickly realized the genious that installed my closet rack did not drill the brackets into the studs because you know, dry wall will hold up a double closet worth of clothes. I knew the landlord would take forever to fix it so I bought new brackets, found the studs, and it has held up ever since. Good thing I am so freaking handy!

Wednesday and Thursday were both 12 hour days and honestly a blur at this point.

Friday we had an agency meeting and I was so impressed. My company is truly an Ad Agency. Very causal and creative environment. People bring their dogs to work with them everyday, no one cares when you come or go, they have free soda and juice, and we laugh a lot. Their employee meeting was very casual and was really just to inform everyone what was going on. No numbers and dollars, but what they were thinking about changing (and they asked for feedback), what clients they are targeting next, etc. They even showed a list of employees that have left/were let go to and said it would not be fair to them if they did not make changes for the better. I was so impressed that they truly were so open and it really did feel like a family environment. They shared some work successes and even a few big things going on in peoples personal lives. The part I laughed the hardest at was the ending. At my previous employers office we would all get a free treat (and I am not complaining, but a cookie does not compare). It was about 3:30 and as the meeting came to a close, they told everyone to shut down and head to the bar around the corner...it was an open tab for all to enjoy.

Saturday I finished unpacking and ventured to IKEA for a few needed household items. I spent most of Saturday night working on my lesson for Relief Society the next day.

Today I made it to church on time, felt good about my lesson, and had dinner with my brothers.

I am still super tired and am a little worried about going to New York again this week as the 3 hour time change kills me and now you are throwing day light savings on top of me so it is more like a 4 hour time change, but I will survive. I just have to make it through to next weekend and then I can sleep guilt free since all my boxes are finally unpacked.

I will try to be better about posting more often because there were some really funny things that happened along the way, but I can't remember them now and this long recap thing is boarding....sorry.

No Time To Stop

Thursday afternoon I flew back to SLC to pack up the house and Uhaul it all up to my new place in Seattle. I knew I had a TON to get done in a few short hours so I did the responsible thing Thursday night and went to see:

Ingrid Michealson was well worth the late night that awaited me. It was also fun to see:


You can see how great she is live in this video. I want to be her guitar player (Ali Moss) when I grow up.



I went home, got to work, and crawled into bed around 2:00 am.

They were out of the Uhaul size that I ordered so they gave me the largest one they had "at no extra cost." I could not stop laughing because it was so huge and we did not even come close to filling it. Now I know what it is like to drive a semi and I have a new found respect for truck drivers.

I dropped off my old computer at work, said hello to a few people that I really miss while trying not to get stuck in the office catching up with everyone. (Sorry for those I missed, but I had a lot to get done)

Matthew and my brother Jared were the life savers and packed everything in the car. I drugged up my cat and away Jared and I went for the long drive.

We safely made it and (for me at least) it was not so bad. The weather was pretty good and Max was great. I felt bad for him and he was glad to get out of his "pet taxi," but all went well. Now, it is time to unpack and start all over again. Ahh...work on Monday is going to be rough I can tell.