I Want In

a. 100 x 15% = 15 + 100 = 115

b. 117.65 x .85% = 100

c. 85% + 15% = 100% but a. is 115 and b. is 117.65

I know somehow mathematically it works out, but in my intellectually idiotic and sleep deprived brain, it is not clicking. TJ, I want in the circle of trust so I no am not going to try and make sense of this and just trust the math.

Maybe this is why I took business stats 3 times in college?

My Idiot Moment of the Day

I did not get much sleep last night and what sleep I did get was very light. As such, I had quite a few idiot moments today, but unfortunately the biggest idiot moment happened when no one was around.

I was sitting at my desk. I had just grabbed a piece of licorice, my phone was ringing, I was having an I.M. conversation, and I was in the middle of putting on my headphones. I went to take a bite of the licorice and tasted something bitter and gross. I looked down at my hands and realized I had put the earphone in my mouth. I could not stop laughing at myself. It was so disgusting.

Just Cold With Ice Please

I love water and always have. In high school, people use to make fun of me because I was always caring around a huge class of ice water to class. I am fine with tap water, but after my Crystal Light overdose early this year, my current water of choice is Fiji Water.

A lot of people also enjoy lemon water. It is not my first choice, but I am ok with it. (I know this is boring, but stick with me. This is where I set up the reader for my main point) Lemon water claims to be more healthy for multiple reason. Lemon's are also a great way to spruce up the water bowl at a party. I understand putting lemons in water because they are too strong to eat in their raw form.

What I don't get is the new fad of cucumber water. A lot of hair salons and spas have switched to cucumber water and I don't like it. Seeing a pitcher full of soggy slimy cucumbers floating around in murky water is not something I want to drink. Who wants to drink water that taste like watered down cucumbers? Seriously, was someone gnawing on a cucumber and thought, man this is way to strong. I need to put this in some water before I can eat it. I like cucumbers, but I like them with salt, pepper, and a side of ranch dressing.

What's next? Jicama water?

Daily Dilemma

Every day at work I have an ongoing dilemma with the restroom. Question, what is your criteria when selecting a stall. I ask myself this question every time and am still not sure what is the best option. Let me explain.

The closest restroom to my cube has two stalls in it. Here are the random questions I debate every day:

Stall 1
It is closest to the door, do more or less people use it?

It is really small. So small that you have to squeeze into it forcing you to touch the walls while trying not to brush against the toilet. Then when you finally get the door closed and are able to sit down, your knees touch the door. Does this mean more or less people use the stall?

This makes for a very unpleasant experience, but is it the less dirty stall?

Stall 2
This is the larger more comfortable stall. Is the comfort worth it?

Being the larger stall, more people use it. Is not rubbing the walls on the way in and sitting in peace worth the additional germs?

The diagram below helps you better visualize the set up. And yes, I made this in Paint. :)


I have asked a few other women in the office what their take is and everyone says something different, but we all agree neither options are ideal. What's a girl to do?

I Heart Brandi

It was another AMAZING concert!!!

Steph and I took a half day at work and drove up to Boise, ID to see Brandi Carlile perform.

On the drive up, we made it from 500 S to Layton in 9 minutes. Steph was impressed, but predicted I would get a ticket on this trip. For that comment, I let her know if I did, she now had to pay half.

Brandi pulls a very large lesbian crowd so the people watching all night was priceless. Steph and I went in and were able to be right in the middle with only one row of people in front of us. We were literally only 10 feet away from her. I started talking to the people around me knowing that we were about to be standing within close proximity of each other for the next 4 hours. What do you know, Steph and I managed to find the two Mormons in the lesbian crow. :) We had a few drunken asshole men encounters that night, but Steph and I stood our ground and never lost our great spots. (I won't go into details on this, but man some people are jerks.)

The show was sold out and Brandi put on an amazing show. She sounds so good live and has a very fun and contagious energy. I took a few video's clips, but we were so close the base was too loud and you can't really hear anything else so I took these from youtube.

This video was my favorite song of the night. It is a new song that she is yet to record. Brandi and her band came out to the edge of the stage and made everyone be quiet. She then sang this song completely unplugged. It was amazing. She really does have a great voice.


One of my favorite things about going to concerts is when the audience all sings together. In this song, she had the audience sing in harmony as her back up. Being there and singing along was very cool.


Steph and I left the night on a Brandi high. If you ever have the chance to see her in concert, do.

After a Rockstar and some great tunes to sing along to, we safely made it home around 4:00 am. I was so freaking tired and almost lost it when Steph walked into the house and screamed. Apparently while we were out, Max had brought a bird in the house and eaten half of it. There were feathers everywhere. Max left the back half of the bird in Steph's room and pooped out the front half of the bird in my room. I was so pissed.

Needless to say, I am exhausted and can't wait to go back to bed, but I would do it all over again if I had to.

Party Down, Utah Style

This is a classic example of why I hate being single and living in Utah. This is an honest to goodness invitation that came from a 29 year old girl in my ward.

Yummy Treats? Apple Cider, it is all just too much for me to handle. Maybe at the end of the night we can all play broom hockey and shake hands goodbye.

Overheard In The Office Today

"Wearing your bluetooth all day in case you get a call is our generations mullet...except we already know it is lame." - DK

"I want to go up to Spokane and just slap them." - MC

"What is he still doing here? I thought H.R. would escort him out of the building." - MC

"How is your day going?" - LL; The double bird all around in response. - ST

"godtube.com, oh shit." MS

Bringing Cash Valley to SLC

I loved living in Logan as a college student and often miss many thing about it like the handful of random restaurants they have. This past weekend I was driving in Centerville and was a little too excited to see that a Firehouse Pizzeria had opened.

Now if we could get an Old Grist Mill and El Toro Viejo we will be set.

It's All About The Little Things

I often find sheer joy in the little things about my day such as:

The can of Diet Coke I have every Sunday while getting ready for church.
Sunday naps.
When Max comes barrelling into the house at 6:00 am and can't get enough attention.
Starting the car and having Ace of Base, I Saw The Sign playing on the radio.
Speeding to work in the far right hand lane.
A phone call from a friend back home.
Not leaving the house on a Saturday.
Late night baths.
A good book.
Putting the electric blanket under my fitted sheet and turning it on 20 minutes before I get into bed.
A late night scandalous text.
Listening to my ipod on random and coming across the perfect song to match my current mood.
That fresh feeling you have right after you brush your teeth.

Call Me Betty

I don't know what came over me, but today at work I had the urge to make sugar cookies. I love to cook. Not sure why, but cooking is a total stress reliever.

The Perfect Night

My morning started out pretty rough, but I am glad to say things turned around by the end of the day thanks to a few great work friends that always seem to make me laugh.

My night went a little something like this:

Leave work a little early to pick up my car from it's 70,000 mile check up. Great news, everything is working fine. Their only recommendation is to get new wiper blades. I can so handle that one.

Sit on the couch with Max and watch Ellen.

Complain about work with Steph.

Clean my room while listening to Ray LaMontagne and Brandi Carlile.

Become inspired by Ray and Brandi. Play the guitar until my fingers sting so bad I can't hold the notes. (I am sure this was Steph's favorite part of her night since I like to sing and play really loud.)

Soon to be tucked into bed reading a great book.

I don't think it gets much better then that.

W.W.W.

What went wrong? I woke up the other morning with a huge fat lip. It slowly went away during the day, but what the hell?

HBO Love

I ordered HBO last month, but thanks to my Tivo digital card set up, it has not been working. This afternoon between 1:00 - 5:00 I had an appointment to solve this.

He first called me around 3:00 indicating he was ready to rendezvous at my house. I quickly left work and met him at home. His name was Jared, or dispatch #1054 to some. He was about my age, single, and hot. He took control and started working on resolving the issues.

He ran into a few issues and it was taking longer then we initially thought it would, but neither of us minded. We had to wait a few times for the Tivo to restart and had plenty of time to small chat. I told him to take a seat and did he sit on the couch opposite of me...no; He sat right next to me.

Me - Do you like your job? I am sure you have run into some pretty crazy people.
Jared - I don't mind when I have good company with nice people like you.
Me - Oh, thanks.
Jared - So, are you from around here? What's your story?

This went on for a good 20 minutes. We talked about work, where we have lived, and other boring small talk, but I was loving it because he kept giving me great complements. (and to think I did not even do may hair today.)

The Tivo restarted and next the conversation was nerdy tech talk. What can I say, I am really a nerd at heart and like proving to the guys I can handle my own.

I had to make a call to someone at work during the last Tivo restart. If it did not work this time, we may have been without TV for a day. I was on the phone when it finally restarted and worked. Jared looked to me with pleasure of his good work smeared all across his face. I smiled back and told him he won the gold star for the day. He thanked me for the award and said I was his favorite job yet.

I walked him to the door. He stopped, turned around and said "thanks and I may call again now that you have HBO." I shyly smiled back and said anytime.

Thanks Mr. 1054. You can come back anytime.

Sunday Highlights

Just a few highlights from my day:

1. Drinking a diet coke first thing in the morning while I get ready for church.
2. Learning that the clown family in my ward had a son get married this past weekend and...he dressed up like a clown at his wedding.
3. Having a guy in my ward tell me "You struck out. I invited you to do something three times and you turned me down. Then you did not call." (Why do I fell like the guy in this situation?)
4. Watching trashy TV shows with Steph when out of no where she says, "I have gas."

Pet Peeve

I hate it when you buy a gallon of milk and they put it in a plastic bag.

Win, Win, Win

Disclaimer: To my boss TJ, this is my blog and I can say whatever I want on it.

Today at work we had a company meeting that was classic. We grabbed some chicken from the buffet line, tried to find the "cool" table to sit at, and anxiously waited for the presentation to start.

When the first slides header was "Win, Win, Win" I knew we were in for a treat. Hello, does no one on the executive team watch the office?


Next came the goals. They were good in theory and we like the additional employee benefits, but you are going to have to implement them sooner the 2012. I'm just saying. These goals were called "BHAG" goals. Go ahead, say it out loud...B..HAG. Are they trying to tell me to be a hag? Then they tried to tell us it stood for Big Harry Audacious Goals. Really....does the A stand for audacious or Ass? The goal section ended with a good old fashion "I call bull shit to that" quote from our president to the street.

Next came something about how we are the next Google. Seriously...the next Google? I will not even begin to go into the details of how hilarious this is, but I am going to tell people that I work at Google 2.

The meeting nicely ended with our new company logo. I like that they are changing the logo because the dog has to go, but my (and everyone else) first thought of the new logo was "bada ba ba da, I'm lovin it."

My parting thought to the meeting, "I call bull shit to that."

Why I Love Ellen

So...I Tivo Ellen everyday. She just makes me laugh. She is clean, so funny, and not afraid to make a fool of herself and all the famous people she is around. Here are a few of my favorite Ellen clips. Some of them are long and a little fuzzy, but they still make me laugh every time I watch them.


I know this is long, but watch it all the way through the end. I can't believe she is almost 50 and still doing stuff like this.


In this clip, Ellen calls a viewer. It is so freaking funny. I love Gladys. Again, you have to listen to it all the way through because the best part is the last two minute.


Only Ellen could get away with this.


Here is a clip from her HBO special Here and Now, which if you have not seen you need to watch the entire thing. This has my favorite segment about using the public restroom.

Thanks Ellen for always making me laugh!

50 Random Things About Me

How much do you really know about me? Or, maybe I should ask, how much do you want to know about me?

1. I prefer Coke over Pepsi (always diet) and prefer a fountain drink over the can.
2. I am obsessed with dance movies such as, Step Up, Center Stage, Stomp the Yard, and Dirty Dancing to name only a few.
3. I could not read until the 3rd grade....thanks Mrs. Hunter.
4. I have the worlds best cat Max...and am ok with being the crazy cat lady.
5. I get a pedicure every two weeks and a massage every four weeks.
6. I am obsessed with MUSIC!!!
7. I prefer taking baths in the summer then the winter.
8. I get along with men so much better then woman. I have a hard time keeping woman friends.
9. I try to help fix other peoples problems so I don't have to fix my own.
10. I can truthfully say I have never tasted alcohol, cigarettes, or any type of illegal drug.
11. I was student body President in High School and Activities VP in college.
12. My favorite childhood memories are at the lake.
13. My first kiss was in the 7th grade with Ryan Kingray.
14. My finger nails are abnormally strong.
15. I think a lot about my best friend from college and pray for him everyday.
16. I am obsessed with reading and buying books.
17. I like the color red....it is who I am.
18. I color coordinate my closet.
19. My degree is in Business Information Systems....I am a tech nerd at heart.
20. I am NOT a morning person.
21. The phrase "jot and tidal" makes me giggle every time I ready it.
22. Spelling is a huge weakness....and I am pretty sure will always be.
23. My biggest fear is not living up to my potential.
24. My first car was a blue Ford Tempo.
25. My first concert was Harry Connick Jr.
26. I miss the excitement of Christmas time that I had as a child.
27. I listen to Christmas music year round.
28. I wish I could sing well.
29. I subscribe to Us Weekly and Better Homes and Garden.
30. I am horrible with names.
31. I deserve more speeding tickets then I get.
32. At least once a week, I sing and dance in front of the mirror for a good hour...it's like my own mini concert in my head.
33. I am often times way to blunt.
34. I tend to give strangers nick names - they are not always nice, but usually true.
35. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me.
36. I always put the toilet paper on to roll over the top.
37. As a single person, I buy enough things at Costco to qualify for their executive membership.
39. I crack myself up a lot.
40. I know some serious dish about a lot of people, but keep it all written down in a secret journal because I just have to tell someone.
41. I am not a sentimental person, but wish that I was.
42. The hardest lesson I have learned in life is that "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."
43. I have a very hard time trusting people enough to let them in and love me.
44. I will never make my kids go to early morning seminary.
45. I am very O.C.D. about too many things.
46. I am horrible at gardening, but very particular about keeping my grass clean and green.
47. I prefer baking to cooking.
48. I prefer eating canned corn cold.
49. I always sleep on the right side of the bed.
50. This post has taken me 4 months to write and I tried to make it 101 things, but could not think of that many things about myself that I was willing to share with the world wide web.

My Friday Night Lights

Steph has recently hooked me on the show Friday Night Lights. We watched season 1 to get ready for the season premier this past Friday and I liked every minute of it. It is a funny show that keeps reminding me of football back when I was in High School.

(Man, what I would not give to weigh that much again...and I always thought I was fat.)

Believe it or not, I was a cheerleader...for 2 years. Keep in mind we were not very serious, but there was a lot of drama, even more boys, and plenty of good times. I know it sounds a little cheesy, but I really do miss football games at Albi stadium. It was one of the things I actually liked in High School.


This is the squad my Junior (and favorite) year. These girls and I went through a lot, but we all made it out alive.


Out of the millions of cheerleading pictures I have this is by far my favorite because I really feel like it captures the experience. We were just finishing up a halftime something or other. You can see me helling whoooo (which you are not suppose to yell) and about 2 seconds later was walking away, ready to get off the field. It was always freezing cold and as you can clearly see....we really were not good.


This picture kindly reminds me of the boy I was in love with, but would not like me back because of my religious beliefs. Apparently to some people, being Mormon means you are going to hell. If this really is the case, I am sure I will see you there buddy. My favorite part of this story is this guy (who really is a very nice person) received and excepted a football scholarship at Weber State in Utah. :)

Miss You Like Candy

I know, I know. I can hear you all mocking me for going to the Mandy Moore concert, but for 20 bucks (so I thought) it was well worth it.


Chelsea, Em, and Steph K all came to the show, but really just came to see Rachael Yamagata. We had fun at the concert, but could have gone without the drama after the show.


All I wanted to hear Mandy sing was Umbrella and Missing You Like Candy. To be honest, I did not know any of her other songs. She sounds fairly decent live, but is extremely awkward. She kept grabbing her shirt and and slapping her side...it got weird.



Mandy came through and sang Umbrella....we were loving it.



Mandy even sang Missing You Like Candy. My night was complete. Rachael Y is the one in this video that looks like a tin foil dinner.

And then we walked out to drive home, but wait....my car was not where I parked it. Awesome...I had been towed. After 222 bucks and a long bitch session at the Kourianos's I made it home to watch the afternoon session of conference in HD. Ah...a day in the life of me.

Bad/Good

Bad: I have been throwing up and deathly sick
Good: I took 2 days off of work

Bad: I could not get out of bed yesterday except to run to the bathroom
Good: My cat spent the entire day with me

Bad: There is nothing on TV during the day
Good: I look 6 naps yesterday

Bad: I have to go back to work tomorrow
Good: I am starting to feel better