God Bless America

We live in a great country where people can invent and sell the craziest things. A few weeks ago I was browsing through the Sky Mall magazine on a flight home and found my new favorite invention.

Now, I love my cat but try not to be the crazy cat lady. I talk to my cat, let it sleep on my bed, let it watch me pee, etc. but I have never had the desire to take him on a walk. That's why I like cats. They can bath and walk themselves. But, if you are the crazy cat lady, I know just the product for you.

Introducing the "Pet Stroller"


"Clad in water-resistant fabric and open-air netting, this classic looking pet stroller will turn heads as you enjoy an outing with your cat, older dog, or smaller dog who has to work hard to keep up with you!"

Can you imagine seeing someone taking their cat for a walk. Wow...we live in a great country!

Mr. 401k

Today at work they brought in some financial guy to answer any 401k or other financial questions we may have. I noticed right away that he was hot and sent a friend in to find out if he was married. To my great excitement, he is not! I convinced Carlee to talk to him with me so we headed down the hall. First we walked past so Carlee could get a look....and he passed. We then went over and made up some lame question about my 401k. It was a great 3 minute interaction, but I did not feel anything....a girl needs sparks you know.

After returning to my desk I realized is was not destine to be. His name is Russ. I don't mean to offend anyone out there, but I have know quite a few Russ's in my life and all of them end up in the "crazy friend" pile.

Not Funny

You know how you have a list of things you would like to ask God when you die. Mine has always been about the dinosaurs, JFK, etc, but I now have a number one questions....Why adult acne? I can understand it during your teenage years when your hormones are all over the place and you are trying to figure out your body, but as an adult; really? I don't get it. It is cute on babies, but there is nothing cute about adult acne.

I know I went through the chin line twice in heaven, but having an adult acne line was just plane old rude. I think I must have been confused and thought I was in the "Look like you are still 15 even though you are 26 line" and did not understand that meant having skin like a 15 year old.

For now, me and my dermatologist will keep washing, exfoliating, hydrating, and praying.

Miss School Miss Out

To all of you who mocked and made fun of me....guess what movie was #1 over the weekend? STOMP THE YARD!!!

Stomp the Yard

As few of you know, this weekend was the opening of Stomp the Yard and I could not have been more excited. There is nothing I love better then a movie with hot guys, lots of dancing, and a predictable ending. I convinced a friend to go with me and was expecting a few good dance scenes and a happy ending.

We made it to the theater with about 5 minutes to spare, but don't worry; there were only 7 other people there so we still got a good seat. Before the show started a few families of African Americans came....I was so excited....they really do live in Utah.

The show started and even though there were only a handful of people, we were a pretty rowdie bunch. In the end scene (I don't want to give it away) everyone clapped and I was in my "Happy Place."

Needless to say, my expectations were exceeded and I highly recommend this movie to all. It had a ton of great dance scenes and a happy ending.

Pick Your Neighbors Wisely

Church was quite that adventure today. Everything was going great. I made it on time (since its starts at 1:00 now), sat by a cute boy in Sunday School....and then the madness started.

There was something wrong with the room we were supposed to have Relief Society in so they sent us down to the Chapel to have a joint lesson. It took a good 20 minutes for class to finally start and people were being so rude and talked through the entire lesson. If you don't want to listen....don't go to class. We are adults now so act like one.

As I walked into the Chapel I hurried to get a "soft" chair and did not pay much attention to who I ended up sitting by....big mistake. As I try to get situated, I notice the guy sitting next to me is huge and taking up half of my chair. I try to slide my chair over, but it is stuck between the chairs on the other side. I quietly mention to the girl next to me that I may be leaning her way because of my "situation."

I finally get comfortable when he starts shaking his legs.....and does not stop up the end of the lesson, but we will get to this in a minute. He then proceeds to pull out his phone from his shirt pocked about once every minute. What is he looking at on his phone you ask; well it is photo album of food. Yep, you got it; he had an entire album of pictures of previous meals. He then proceeded to take pictures of the people in front of him...ah...ya...keep thinking about that...ya...creepy and really, shots of the back of peoples heads?

Next he started trimming his nails and cuticles with his pocket knife. See previous blog "It's Called PERSONAL Hygiene" for further understanding of my issue here.

This continued on as I gave up listening to the lesson and just started reading it myself. With about 5 minutes left, the leg shaking finally stopped.....and the heavy breathing/snoring took over. Yep, you guessed it....he fell fast asleep.

Let's just say I was the first one out of the room after Amen.

The Joy's of Work I.M.

Here is a classic example of why I love I.M. at work. Sitting in cubicles really has its advantages sometimes!

(Matthew - this is IM where spelling does not count so keep it to yourself)

Scene - Datamark on a long cold afternoon. The temp girl sitting by Josh is yelling at her husband about not quiting his job because is mad over something - they need the tuition reimbursement:

Josh says: This girl next to me talks really loud---my ears are bleeding
Lindsay Jane says: lol
Lindsay Jane says: ya and who is she fighting with?
Josh says: she doesn't talk--she screams man--I think she's bitching out her hubby--hang on let me eavesdrop
Lindsay Jane says: she is very belittling
Lindsay Jane says: oh ya....it is her husband
Josh says: It might just be me, but I think here husband is not so smart
Josh says: dummy maybe
Lindsay Jane says: i agree
Lindsay Jane says: ya...don't quit your job dude....not smart
Lindsay Jane says: she sounds like his mom
Josh says: don't cry
Lindsay Jane says: no...i want to see the tears...cry
Lindsay Jane says: cry, cry,cry

(Josh gets a call on his cell phone from his wife)
Lindsay Jane says: can you please be quite....i can't hear when you talk!
Josh says: should I go to the shop?
Lindsay Jane says: yes!
Lindsay Jane says: it is getting good!
Josh says: my wife is wrecking everything!
Josh says: she called
Josh says: ok, she is whispering now---let me see what I can find out

(I leave to talk with Eric)
Josh says: oh geez--you're talking to stupid Eric
Josh says: Eric wreaks everything! I hate Eric, he's not even my real dad! I'm gonna go live with my grandparents
Josh says: ohh--he's in dutch with Melanie
Josh says: wait, something about he should have do something a week and a half ago
Lindsay Jane says: keep listening
Lindsay Jane says: is that here crying?
Lindsay Jane says: YES!!!! touchdown!!!!
Josh says: whispering--something something
Josh says: oh my!
Josh says: They are having phone sex now!
Lindsay Jane says: nice!
Josh says: what a day!
Josh says: boooo---call is over
Lindsay Jane says: crap...to be continued!
Josh says: too bad she only comes in at 1:30--
Josh says: but then she tells Alan everything, so we'll be caught up soon--be happy

If I Only Had One Wish

People ask what you would wish if you only had one wish and I think I have finally figured it out. I would want life to be a musical. How great would it be to go about your day and spontaneously bust out in song and dance. Not only that, but you would always have music playing in the background giving more feeling to your mood.

That soundtrack to my life would be great!

I'm Not The Only One

This past weekend I went and saw the movie Dream Girls after it received such rave review from Natalie. I was enjoying the movie when I heard someones phone go off, once, twice, and then three times before he answered it. Now keep in mind that I was a good 10 rows behind him and could still hear it. I am sure you can see where this is going, but the butt head answered it and started to have a conversation. The people sitting around him started looking over and half standing up while giving him the evil eye. This went on for a good 30 seconds which is a long time in this situation. When his conversation was still not over after about 45 seconds, people started throwing popcorn at him and yelling at him to get off the phone. He soon hung up and started looking around trying to find the person that threw crap at him.

It was the greatest thing ever to watch because they all reacted the same way I would have. I love that I am not the only one willing to throw food and yell at a perfect stranger. I know some of you may be saying "What would Jesus do" and my answer to that is "Not answer his cell phone during the movie."